Thursday, December 3, 2009

Crushed !


Life is a puzzle... Not easy to solve always.In-fact I doubt if there's a perfect answer to the happiest thing in life. Unlike normal puzzles,there's no perfect way to solve..i feel living thru one’s experience is d very learning step to ultimatum, if any.i m not sittin thru to publish "the ultimate solution to best n only life ever". i m jus human. Wit d normal anxieties, frustrations , happiness, joblessness, n at times I do pause for a min to see if everythin around me is rotatin d same way as i m, bcoz lik u all, i still believe wat somebody once said "wen our earth stops rotatin we die.." I admit i m worried wat if it is stopping soon... Wat next? Do i hav something urgent to complete?

Have you ever wondered what would be the next urgent thing you would do if you ever knew things are winding up! Somebody said “Dude... Get Married n live for a day atleast“.But would dat help me in what I want.Bcoz I m tryin to solve d hardest puzzle ever even though I think the same what you thought, “As if!” I made references for happiness, i skipped bad times, i screwed up wonderful things jus lik a shameless selfish soul.n then I realised even Googling wasnt any good bcoz i neva got d results that would raise ma eyebrows, But those were indeed efforts but I did gain unknowingly even though I neva felt I was badly in need of all dat.


Experience taught me good and bad.Are they soon to b wasted.. No i dont wanna c them scrapped bcoz who would wanna c their humble efforts dumped in backyard waste..I m in a haste, No time to waste.., I ve regrets bcoz I never had aesthetics for being in the present. I dint learn frm bad, so I dint gain and I m in drain. But it wasnt engineering wat I missed, it was glorious moments that I missed. I never evaluated myself for each day dat passed bcoz i thot i wanted sleep. But when I did, I took time to realise solitude was draining all the good in me.Is it too late? I believe in short term goals, atleast now bcoz if I don’t i ll loose everything once and for all. I don’t want a dreadful life, for dat matter who would want to have one rite? But this time I am desperate don’t even knw how long it will last. But I need to clear up my mind and feel good bcoz I was once a teenager excited about tech n I need to get back wat I lost on the way. Time is flying, Life’s changing and why am I drifting! I knw this isn’t abt a breakthrough but I need to believe this is one, bcoz it’s now or never!